The ability to connect quickly and deeply with new people is crucial for us coaches who do a weird thing called ‘chemistry sessions’. The purpose is to allow you to see us for the first time and judge whether we’re the person you want to work with. Clearly that’s a two way street, but for us it’s more about understanding what you want and figuring out whether we can help you. That all has to happen in a relatively short time.
It struck me today that it’s an odd scenario. While being ‘sussed’ out, we ask you to tell us your problems and desires, holding back on coaching you in the moment because you haven’t given us permission to do so yet!
In that moment, I feel the flicker of pressure to be the person you want me to be, but then I remember – if it’s right it’s right, if it’s not, it’s best for both of us to stroll on by….
So what did I do instead? 3 key things:
1) Centre myself and be authentically, unapologetically me
2) Actively listen and ask questions that build on what I’m hearing, not what I want to say next – engaging empathy for where you’re at
3) Listen for language patterns that give me clues to what the underlying problem is (what you’re not saying)
There’s a skill in connecting with people in a meaningful and memorable way, in a short time, in a weird set up!
💜 When you meet new people are you worrying about what they think of you or engaging genuine empathy?
💜 What would happen if you were unapologetically, authentically you?
💜 How perceptive are you in terms of what they’re not saying?